Christmas is round the corner and it is a time for families but if you are going through a divorce or seperation this can be a particularly difficult time. Many Mum’s get custody of their children in a divorce or separation so Christmas can be a particularly lonely time for single Dad’s, especially if this is your first Christmas away from your children.

TV and radio are already promoting Christmas, whether it is your grocery shopping for the holiday period or toy adverts of what you should be getting your kids for Christmas. If you are going through a divorce or separation then this time of year is always difficult especially with the constant reminders of perfect families enjoying Christmas together.

The My Mad Ex Divorce forum have put together a few tips for Single Dad’s facing Christmas alone.

1. Try to be amicable with your ex – Your ex may be mad, or maybe you’ve found yourself acting a bit crazy after the split, either way Christmas is important if you have kids and the last thing you should be doing is arguing with your ex on Christmas day in front of them. We know it can be hard as your ex may be making things difficult or maybe you still have string feelings that mean you act a bit mad when you see them but try to remain amicable for the Christmas period at least and show your kids they are important to both of you.
2. Try to arrange time with your kids – This goes with tip number 1 as you need to speak to your ex about arranging time to see your kids, you may not get Christmas day with them but maybe you could take them out Christmas Eve or Boxing day.
3. Don’t spoil the kids – If you don’t get to see your kids often or feel bad about separating from their Mum then don’t overcompensate by spoiling them. Many Single Dad’s feel guilty that they don’t see their kids very often and want to spend money on them to prove they still love them, this comes from emotional issues that you need to tackle seperately but in the mean time be thoughtful with your time and your gifts to your children. The last thing your kids need is their Dad going bankrupt and in the long run they will remember the thoughtful gifts and the good times they have with you.
4. Don’t Drink too much – Drinking and Christmas go together like Turkey and Cranberry sauce, but try to avoid the temptation to get too drunk as alcohol is a depressant and your unresolved issues about separating or feelings about your ex may rear their ugly head. Single Dad’s who get too drunk at Christmas just feel even more isolated and often ostracise and push away their family and friends after too many egg nogs. After a seperation people are more succeptible to depression and many single Dad’s don’t look for support in the same way as single Mums and alcohol can be that push into depression and long term health problems.
5. Be with family and friends – After a divoce or separation many single Dad’s want to isolate themselves, don’t do this as you culd fall into bad habits and be succeptible to depression. Try to be with friends, work mates or family, don’t spend all of the Christmas season locked up in your home alone try to be sociable, put on a brave face and you never know you may just enjoy yourself.

If you think we’ve missed some points or want to discuss what it is like for a single Dad facing Christmas alone join the conversation at My Mad Ex’s Divorce forum.

The summer holidays should be a fun time for families, spending time with the kids and better weather, but the summer holidays can be one of the biggest times of the year for couples separating.

January has the highest yearly divorce rates but September is close behind, so what is is about holidays that seem to make more people split up and get separated or divorced?

Does the hot weather get you hot under the collar? Do short skirts in summer months tempt huspands and partners to stray? Most people think that the added strain of spending a lot of time with your family dusing holidays is a factor to speed up a relationship that is heading for divorce. Summer holidays is a stressful time when families are pushed together and their is the expectance that you will go on holidays together.

This corresponds with the figures from Christmas break ups where you are often confined not only with your immediate family but also extended families. This with money worries can often antagonise a relationship and be the trigger that pushes a couple to separate or divorce.

In the summer holidays many couples have to put their children first, if you children go to school, you have to take time off work to look after them or find additional money for childcare. This can cause arguments as many companies will not let you have 6 weeks off all year let a lone just for summer as well as the half terms, easter, and Christmas holidays. This means couples have to juggle time off, enlist in help from friends and relatives or shell out on childcare which can be very expensive per child. These pressures are difficult to get through at the best of times ut if your relationship is already a bit rocky then this would explain the increase in separations and divorce after the summer holidays.

What do you think contributes to Summer separations? Did you split with your ex over the summer holidays? Do you think other factors are involved that we haven’t looked at? Discuss this and more at the My Mad Ex Divorce and Separation forum. To discuss Summer separations go to the individual forum discussion!